Friday, December 31, 2010

A message to our visitors and potential visitors

I cannot thank all of you enough for your support. Your presence in the waiting room, and comments on this blog mean so much to my mom and my family. It is unbelievable, and I cannot describe your impact.

That being said, we are making a system for people wishing to visit my mom. We have decided that we would like people to let us know before they enter her hospital room. Please wait in the waiting room, and call or text my sister if you arrive and no one is out there 347-392-9116 (Aynsley knows about this, I am not just playing a mean joke on her). You can also text me or my dad. PLEASE understand that if you are someone that has dropped by in the past, THAT IS COMPLETELY WONDERFUL! We're not trying to be passive aggressive or anything like that. This is not directed towards anyone in particular, we're just trying to create a system where we can have visitors at the best time for my mom. The truth is, there have been a lot of people that have just dropped in the room to say hi to my mom. And honestly, the fact that people have done that is really comforting to me. I am glad that people are so eager to see my mom and I do not regret how casual our stay in the hospital has been.

Part of our decision to create this system is due to the fact that my mom is starting chemo soon, and she needs her rest, and she gets excited when people come in. Part of it is sometimes a nurse is in the room and they need to get their job done and get out. Part of it is that Aynsley and I want as much family time with our mom and dad before Aynsley leaves for NY and I start school.

I don't want to discourage those of you who have not made it to the hospital yet, or those of you who are on the fence about coming to visit. If you are considering a visit, please come. It means so much to us.

I really want to stress these points: a) this is just an attempt to bring visitors in when they are best for my mom, and b) the fact that we even need to create a system like this is the greatest thing about all of you. Your dedication to my mother, your eagerness to see her and speak with her, your presence at the hospital, your comments on this blog and the mere fact that you are even following this blog are all reasons why we love you more than we can say. And they are the reasons why she is going to get stronger and healthier. You are the reason she will have the strength to come home and continue on with her beautiful, blessed life which you all fill to the brim.

I cannot thank you enough for that. Love.


  1. a little tidbit of nostalgia...Flynn was the ONLY one to have ever jumped some 10 ft from our stone wall which divided our dining room into the living room which was one level down. Glad to hear you had a good day. In the spirit of your Kellar cheerleading days, we're all cheering.

    Jon Heller

  2. Dear Flynne and family,
    I send all of my love. I know that when my sister was on Chemo/rads that she needed to protect her energy and strength. It was hard for some of her friends to realize this. What I suggested to her at that time was to make a list of small errands for friends to do, so that they would not feel helpless. I encourage you and family to do the same. Can some of us take clothes to the cleaners, do gardening or household chores, make food runs, package stuff up for the post office, take care of getting the oil changed on the car? If we can help offload the mundane stuff, you can all rest and spend time on the essentials. If we can help, feel free to give us small assignments that do not require micromanaging us. My sister had people pick up pet food, walk her dog, make post office runs, etc..

    I would love to see Flynne, and I also want to make my first priority her chance to rest so that she can have full strength for her treatment and recovery, and to be with family when rested. We all deeply appreciate the energy that Ross and Aynsley have put into the blog, so that we can be with you in our hearts every step of the way. Aynsley has my contact information; I will be there if needed or asked, but I also will stay in the perimeter until that time. It is hard for me, and for all who love you, to discern the difference between longing to be with you and to support you, and knowing when you need us to step back into a larger circle of love, prayer and hope, in order to provide the time you need for rest and time with family. Please realize that I have chosen not to visit in person yet for these reasons, and not for any lack of deep caring about you and your family. It is time for you to be able to rest and to focus on your recovery, not to worry about caring for me.
    All my love,
    Melissa Upton Cyders

  3. Dear Ross and aynsley -- I am just so impressed by your love, caretaking, maturity and common sense. Your parents are so blessed tp have kids like you! I haven't seen you in forever -- but will be following yur blog and saying prayers for all of you. As you know, saying prayers is part of my job now, so I'm getting better at it for all my practice. Hang in there and I know you have lots of people around your family that want to take care of you too -- so make sure you take care of yourselves along with your mom care. . With great amazement at your attitudes and loving care if your beautiful mom -- jill zimmerman (now rabbi JZ)