5.6.11

AYNSLEY:

I mentioned yesterday that the CT results were disappointing. And they were. We have been inundated with emails, calls and texts today from family and friends who are all expressing their sorrow and heavy hearts at this news. Believe me, I take great comfort in the amazing and enormous support network we have. But I chose my words carefully: we were disappointed, not devastated.

Mom has been on an upswing in the past few weeks and today was no different. When I arrived this morning, she had been sitting upright in her armchair for almost two hours. She ate a great breakfast, then a good snack, then a big lunch. Then another snack. Then another aggressive PT session. Then, finally, a nap.

We had some great social work consultations today and our family rabbi came in to talk with Mom about how she's feeling about the CT results. She admitted that it does diminish her hope, but that she's accepted that her life will be shorter that she'd like and that death is another part of life. She's grieving. She mourning, but she's not depressed. There's a clear difference.

She also decided that she will go ahead with the new chemo (like we didn't see that one coming!) this coming Tuesday.

Keep in mind that in December, the doctors didn't expect her to make it to 2011. Every single lucid moment we've gotten since the diagnosis has been a gift.