2.21.11

AYNSLEY:

Mom is back at the Kline! Infections are under control and she's happy to be out of the hospital. Dad is going back to work tomorrow and I'm hopeful that both my parents get a good night's sleep tonight.

There is something in me that's a little frightened when she's away from the hospital. It's so weird, as I'm generally someone who fears hospitals and avoids western medicine if at all possible. Common logic would assume that I'd prefer to have Mom at home with an acupuncturist and herbalist on call. And while that sounds lovely, the truth is that I'm terrified of her health stability and take comfort, though cynical comfort, in the hospital.

But she's out of the hospital, which is a good thing; all of the doctors agree that she doesn't need to be there. I know that she'll likely get more rest and better recuperative care at KGH. So I'll wrap my head around my faulty logic of trusting the doctors when she's at the hospital but being skeptical when they say she's good to leave and embrace this week as the respite it is: no chemo and the knowledge that the tumors are smaller than they were two months ago.