Thursday, February 3, 2011


I booked my return flight home today: leaving very early Sunday morning to arrive home in time to go back to work on Monday after sleeping a full night. I feel relieved to be going home and horrible about leaving everyone here. But my life has gotten to be too much to manage from a distance and I know that all of our wonderful family and friends will step in during my brief absence. I hope to be back in three weeks.

Today was one of the days I predicted would come: worse before better. Mom slept nearly all day, but when she was awake, she was queasy and weaker. She still did PT and OT, but they were shorter sessions and she was tired. The OT session was at lunch and Mom ate precisely one bite of each food before succumbing to fatigue and nausea. She apologized to the therapist and went back to sleep. There wasn't any vomiting today, which was great, but she didn't get much food in, either. Once in a while, that's fine, of course, but we can't let it become a habit. She needs to keep her strength up.

We're all blaming chemo. And as crappy as she's feeling, she's still feeling better than before she was diagnosed, when she was in so much pain. She describes this feeling as almost morning sickness-ish, though of course without the rewards. The good news is that she has next week off from this chemo, so hopefully she'll start to feel better in the next couple of days and take the next week or so to really progress in physical therapy and occupational therapy. In the week she's been at KG, she's already gotten so much stronger. We all hope this will continue and maybe at some point she'll be able to really be an outpatient. Sadly, her vision hasn't changed, though we still refuse to accept that she'll be permanently blind. Yesterday the PT asked her what her goals were and she said "to get my vision back." So that's still Plan A.

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