Last night I stayed with Mom for the first time in probably a month. There's definitely a learning curve, or a relearning curve. I'm a heavy sleeper, which is terrible. At 4:30 this morning, I woke up to her sort of whimpering and with one of her legs off the bed-whether it slipped or she was trying to get up I don't know, but I felt horrible. I didn't wake up right away. It's the ultimate feeling of guilt-it's my one job to stay with her through the night and make sure her needs are being met and I fail. And then at 7am, the nurse gave her anti-nausea medication through the IV. I knew that Mom needed to wait 30 minutes before eating after the drug, but I didn't know that she should eat within the hour. Mom was tired, so I let her sleep. She finally woke up around 9:30 and then we started breakfast. She also needed to take her morning pills, which usually we can do while eating. After a couple of bites of breakfast, I gave her two small pills and she became pretty nauseous. She stayed queasy until noon, when she got another hit of the anti-nausea drug.
Feeling sick translated into more fatigue and instability. She had abbreviated physical and occupational therapy sessions, which was disappointing because yesterday she was so strong in PT. But she did get a lot of naps in today, and slept a lot last night and this morning, which I also need to remind myself is integral to healing. And she ate decent amounts of lunch and dinner. Decent amounts are: lunch: 2oz soup, 1 oz ground beef, 2 oz mashed potatoes and a couple of baby carrots; dinner: 4 oz soup, 3 oz broccoli and eggs. She also had one quarter of a sesame and honey treat-she liked it a lot, but probably ate 40 calories worth. She's simply not getting the calories she needs, and I know we'll need to have the feeding tube discussion again tomorrow after hearing what the oncologist says.
All in all, not a great start to March. The weather didn't really come in like a lion, but Mom's illness did.
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