Last night was a beautiful night. Rabbi Kinberg hosted a small shabbat service in mom's room, where we were joined by a small group of friends and family. Mom had on her colorful flower hat, and blue scarf. I found so much joy in hearing her singing along with the prayers, and even singing some harmonies. She was enjoying herself thoroughly. Towards the end of the service, Rabbi Kinberg led us in the Mi sheberakh, a prayer for healing:
May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us, help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing.
It was here when my mom began to cry:
Bless those in need of healing with the renewal of body, the renewal of spirit
Unlike Aynsley, I had not seen my mom cry once since before the diagnosis. I knew though, in that room, surrounded by loved ones, she was not sad. She could feel our love, our hope, our presence, our prayers, and it moved her to tears. She has been moved by every small act of kindness, from people she sees everyday, to people she has not heard from in decades. And everything seemed to add up to an overwhelming appreciation for her life that was too big to contain. And so she wept.
She asked me earlier to play guitar during the service, and after the Mi sheberakh, I took out my guitar and began to play. As soon as I started, I felt her hand press against my back, and once again, she began to cry. This time it was louder and heavier. It was uncontainable, like a river jumping its banks, free to create a new channel for itself. When I finished playing she was still crying. "I am just so grateful for everyone" she said.
Last night was the first time I truly realized the strength my mom has to carve out a new direction for her life. Every good deed and thought you have sent our way is a drop of water, and my mom is a mighty river that is untameable, unmeasurable and growing larger still.
This morning my mom had a cat scan to see where else cancer might be in her body. This test was to see if cancer has spread to her lungs and liver. Speaking for myself, I have been dreading these results for weeks. But I am happy to report that there is no cancer in Flynne Kirshenbaum's lungs and liver. This is the best news we have received! Now, we can focus clearly on mom's number one, main goal: getting her eyesight back. She has said she plans on doing this in the next couple of days. As soon as she does, I am shaving off my beard.
thank you everyone.