Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Mom's incision site is seeping fluid again. This is how we initially found the infection that lead to the O'Maya Reservoir being removed. Now that it's out, the same spot is seeping fluid again. A sample was taken today and we should get analysis tomorrow or Thursday. Mom is still on antibiotics, so the hope is that this seeping isn't an additional infection or the same infection or any infection at all.
The seeping is annoying and the spot itches. Really, a lot of Mom's body itches. Between the metastatic "rash", the radiation to fight it, dry skin, morphine and countless healing wounds from surgical sites or other pokes and needles, it's a wonder she's not constantly scratching.

The possibility of an infection worries me a lot these days. Just in general, infection halts treatment, makes Mom ill, and requires more interventions. And the possibility of an infection so near her brain...scary stuff. I try not to focus on that, because I can drive myself crazy with all of the what-ifs. And, really, none of the what-ifs matter. Only the how it is. And we don't have that information yet, so, in the words of Jewel: Worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless. Won't be idle with despair.

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