I forgot that fatigue is a very real and very common side effect of radiation. With the exception of the last two nights, every day this week when I spoke with Mom, she was heartbreakingly tired. And I get scared. But I need to remind myself (this seems constant and endless-why don't I learn!?) that she's tired for good reason. That it's not necessary to go into panic mode.
And today she was even better than yesterday. She had a good day. She's looking forward to a special weekend visit and book club coming up.
There really aren't any absolutes here. Nothing is only good or only bad. I know this on an intellectual level. It's just nearly impossible to operate on an intellectual level. In the best of circumstances, I am lead by emotion. In the past five and a half months, I've operated by emotion only.