I came across a wonderful essay by the amazing Bruce Feiler this morning; it was printed in yesterday's NY Times. I adore everything I've read by him, even before Mom got sick, and this was so perfect and spot on. Though I have to disagree with "Never" #2: My thoughts and prayers are with you. I actually appreciate when people say this (though I am not the patient). Even just receiving a short email or text checking in lifts my spirits.
Anyway, I highly recommend it, not necessarily for our situation, but for anytime you find yourself wringing your hands and feeling helpless.